A "C.J. Lawn Service," update.

A couple weeks ago I got a new email from our not-so-bright lawn guy. As you may recall, they continue to work on our yard, despite the fact that we've never paid them. Not from lack of trying, but from our guy's inability to retain our contact info, no matter how many times we give it to him. So, this was his email:

"Christy,
I was wondering why I havent seen your emails sent while back. They was going to bulk folder. (junk mail folder) That has been changed now.
If you would, please provide me again with your first & last name, address,phone # so I can update my system also send out the invoice & agreement so we can get on the right track to a better looking yard."

I especially liked the "They was." At least he didn't ask for my email address again.

Well, I sent off all the info...again (this must be at least the 5th time)...and he got back to me yesterday with a contract. The only problem was that none of my programs open up his attachments. Not Word. Not Adobe. Not anything else I have. It's a mystery as to what he used. This kid just can't catch a break. I emailed him back, but who knows how long it will take to get this one squared off. It's a crap shoot with good ol' C.J.

It is time for me to post another collection of random, quirky comments that my kids come up with. I jot them down until I have a bunch of them to write up, so they aren't in any particular time-line or order.


I gave a motivational speech regarding Santa to the twins today. You know the one...where you tell kids that Santa is only coming to good boys & girls...not naughty ones. This was the conversation I over heard a few minutes later.

Austin: I'm a GOOD boy, too! Santa is happy to me.
Alaina: I'm a good girl, mama.
Austin: Santa is coming today!
Alaina: We is good! We don't eat people!
Austin: No, we don't eat people. We have to play hide and seek with Santa.
Alaina: I'm hiding here. (she get's behind a couch)
Austin: When he comes we can say "Surprise!"
Alaina: Yes...he's coming now!
Austin: Santa's a boy! He coughs. He says "ho ho ho." Like that. That's his name, "Santa Coughs"
Alaina (from behind the couch) He coughs?
Austin: Yes. Santa...he coughs, "ho ho ho!" I like it. Santa Coughs.
Alaina: Oh. Yes. I like it too! (she comes out from behind the couch) He says, "ho, ho, ho!
Austin: Yes...that's what I said, "ho, ho, ho."
Alaina: NO...like this. (she pats her tummy) "Ho, ho, ho!"

The proper intonation and hand motions are discussed for the next 10 minutes.


While making dinner, I got a whiff of an awfully suspicious smell and seeing Ethan nearby, I asked him if he had a little accident. (Ethan had been having some random accidents during that past week and I had constantly been asking him if I could check his undies) Ethan gave me his maniac grin, twisted his hip out and jerked his bum high up on one leg. Looking back at me, over his shoulder and with one hand on his hip he called out, "Check it!" And image of a sassy teenage cheerleader flashed in front of my eyes. He was just missing a wink and a flip of his hair. That kid!


I was busy patting myself on the back for being award-winner mother as the warm smell of baking cake filled the air, when Austin entered the room. Ahhh...the praise that little boy would give me. The adoration. I lovingly bent down to one knee, ready to soak in the sun-drenched praise that was about to pour from my sweet baby's mouth. And on cue, that lover-boy put his chubby hands on my cheeks and said,
"Mama! I smell cake. It stinks my nose! (dramatic pause) Get it out of my nose!"
What just happened to my moment? It was cake! How could cake not smell good?


Lolo & Mark wrote a little book for the kiddies for Christmas. I think we can safely say that at least Austin liked it because yesterday when I asked him what he wanted me to read to him, he replied (all in one breathe, I might add):
"Maybe we could read our favorite. And that book Lolo and Mark gave to us. With Austin, Ethan and Laina. And I turned blue! And Austin's hand was blue. And I was upside down and turned blue. Our BEST book. Maybe we can read that book."
Yeah...he loves it.

Merry Christmas!

Today is Christmas for all of you, but we were lucky this year because Santa came a few days early for us. He must have known that Lora and Mark were leaving Christmas Eve and wouldn't be here for the big day. So on Friday we had our Christmas Eve. I had pulled a bunch of recipes from allrecipes.com and made sure I had all the ingredients before we started. Robert only had to go back to the store once for something I forgot. Lora and I spent the entire day cooking up our masterpieces. Robert spent the day cleaning the dishes we dirtied and hanging out with the kids with Mark. We had dinner on by 6:30 and it was really delicious. I couldn't believe that everything turned out so well.
After we ate so much we couldn't move we got the kids ready for bed and then read them stories. Mark and Lora had written and illustrated a story book about the kids for the monster's Christmas present. It is really something. The story line was all about the kids playing in the park and using their imagination and the illustrations were so fun and colorful. I should really just take pictures of every page and post it. Hmmmm....maybe I'll do that later... After that story, Robert read The Night Before Christmas and then we acted out the Nativity story. (That is one of the Jones' Christmas traditions we hope to make our own.) After that we left our cookies for Santa and shooed the kids off to bed. Alaina protested the bedtime by saying, "But I love Santa. I miss him! I want to see him!" Ah...thou doth protest too much...

And that just left us the clean up and Christmas set up. Mark and Lora really helped us get ready. Mark somehow put together the boy's sailing ship and Lora and I got the doll house together. Actually...that was mostly Lora while I watched. But 1 a.m. it all looked pretty great. Now, why didn't we get to bed at that time? I don't know when we got to bed, but I do know that Christmas came too early. The times I did sleep, my dreams were filled up with rotten Christmas scenarios...like Robert getting 5 dogs and a cat for us for Christmas or not being able to find the presents. What ever happened to sugar plums dancing in my head?

Christmas morning was so much fun. The kids were so excited to see what they got. Alaina was a little grumpy that Santa didn't hang out and wait for her, but she soon got over it when she saw her "dolly house." The boys loved their pirate ship and everyone loved all of the Christmas presents that family sent to us. Thank you! We played all day long together. It was really a wonderful Christmas.

The day after Christmas we spent the majority of the day playing Settlers of Catan. I'm afraid we were rather addicted to it. (Thanks Nathan & Lindi) While we played we let the kids rot their brains by watching a couple of movies. (Thanks Craig & Robbyn.) At one point there was a bit of commotion from the Living Room. We ran in and found Alaina defending her doll house, quite effectively, from Ethan. I guess she really didn't want him playing with it. That girl is flexible!

Later we found the boys in the living room, pushing around a special present.

Last night we said a sad farewell to Lora & Mark. It was so much fun having you here! It was good to get to know Mark a little more (even if Austin insisted on calling you Uncle Ron.) Come again soon. We'll make a Christmas meal for anyone else who would like to visit as well. Come one...come all!

Mark and Lora completed an entire quilt while they were here, from buying the material to hand stitching the binding. It was their first attempt (although it doesn't look like it) and they even chose to quilt the back instead of tying it. I have to say, I've never seen two people work so well together on anything. And it is a good thing they did because that was the only way they finished it in such a short amount of time.

Here is their finished product.

The Christmas tree and stockings have been up for weeks. We plug in at least 10 sets of lights everyday...and that is just in the house alone. Decorations are stuffed on every available shelf and you are continuously bombarded with a stream of Christmas carols as soon as you walk in the door. But it truly didn't feel like Christmas until I pulled the first batch of orange rolls out of the oven. There is just something about those sticky rolls that complete Christmas. Lora and I decided that when that aroma fills up the house it brings back all of our Christmas memories of our youth. Something about that makes you feel at home, no matter how far away you are. The only downside is that we managed to eat 2 whole rings of orange rolls in a 24 hour period. That is an awful lot of good memories and sugar to shove down in such a short amount of time.
We went back to the Botanical Garden a couple of nights ago to see the place lit up with Christmas lights. As an added bonus, I heard that Santa would be visiting, so we bundled the kiddies up and packed them in the car. Since it was their normal bed-time, they all feel asleep on the way there. The gardens were absolutely gorgeous.


We were glad that we had doubled up on all the clothes even though they all managed to look like that kid from "The Christmas Story." But the best part, of course, was Santa.
Santa was his jolly, merry self, at least through the eyes of our toddlers. To the more skeptical eye he looked pale, sickly and quite likely to expire within the next 24 hours. He yellow stained teeth and sallow skin exposed years of tobacco use, but our kids only saw the "real" Santa.Here we thought we had actually lost him for a second. Even Ethan started to wonder...


He managed to wheez out a "Whadaya want for Christmas" and an occasional "ho ho ho" and the magic of Christmas let the kiddies imagine the rest. After throwing the kids on his lap for just long enough for a quick picture we lured the kids over to the hot chocolate. Large amounts of sugar always seems to do the trick, but after a while I noticed a very serious look on Austin's face while he stared down Santa. With a little prodding I found out that his main concern was the absence of Rudolf. Unhappy with my explanation that Rudolf was busy getting things ready at North Pole, he decided to take it upon himself to ask the big guy himself. He cautiously walked up to Santa and after taking a deep breath, he asked him where Rudolf was. Santa coughed back a little phlegm and said, "Well, I guess he's back at the North Pole." Aha...I thought. But before I could thank the old geezer and leave he continued, "I mean, if he was around here, he'd only get himself shot dead! There he'd be, hung up over some guy's fire place with his antlers as a trophy! It's huntin' season, ya know." Okay, Austin, back away from the fake Santa. As I quickly turned and started pulling Austin away, words like "venison" and "dinner" floated past my shoulders. Nothing seemed to stop our red-neck Santa.

And here are a couple of Christmas letters that the kids dictated to me & Rob. I can't seem to find Austin's letter but Ethan wrote two...so that should make up for it.

Dear Santa,

Come down the chimney. Come see my Christmas tree please. Come again the next night. We love you. I play with them (Austin & Alaina) all of the time. I'm nice when I'm in a good mood. I put our Christmas lights on and I'm a good boy. I like a present. I want Santa to come.

I love you,

Ethan

And the second one from Ethan...

Dear Santa,

I think you're great! Please bring me presents. I've been a really good boy this year and I don't want any coal because that's yucky medicine. I want you to come to my house please and I'll leave you milk and cookies. I'm going to sing a song:
He'll be coming down the chimney when he says, "Ho ho ho!"
He'll be flying with his reindeers when he says, "Where's Rudolf?"
We will leave him milk and cookies when he says, "yum yum."

I'm done with my song. Merry Christmas!

Ethan

And here his Alaina's letter.

Dear Santa,

I'll be happy to have a present. My mom and dad be nice. Austin and Lainy be good. I like flowers. I like egg-nog. I like Christmas lights. Santa to give me presents. I've been good for Christmas. I play with Austin and Than. I clean up. I love you. I like to be nice to each others.

Alaina.

Alaina kills me.
Every night we read stories, put the monsters into their pj's, brush their teeth, put them on their beds and hope that the absence of distractions will lull them into a long and deep sleep. When Austin is left alone, he looks at his books, cuddles with his alphabet magnets (strange boy) and falls asleep in about 15 minutes. Ethan spends his time alone in his room trying to connive some clever plan to escape his room and stay up later. There is as least one hour of random statements or questions before he gives up and begrudgingly falls asleep. "Daaaaaaaad...I have school tomorrow!" "MMMMooooommmm, can you come and scratch my back?" And then...blissful silence. But Alaina. Yes. That girl KILLS me! We put that princess on her bed as fast as we can and try to make it to the door before the questions start. "Dad (long pause...) I want to tell you secret." "What is it laina?" "Um... (another long pause) well, (yet another long pause) it's just that, (sigh) I, (painfully long pause) well, I love you with all my heart." We edge out of the door with an "ok...goodnight then..." "But, it's just that I have something to say..." And so the excruciating ritual continues until we are able to run out the door before she thinks of another thing to say. And if that tedious process wasn't enough, Alaina has found that she really doesn't need anyone actually present to continue in her long monologues. She just continues right head by herself. For hours.
On and on that girl babbles. Last night it went on from 6:30 to about 9. We turn out the lights. We take away teddy bears. We chastise her. But it is only when SHE decides that it is time to sleep, do we get any peace.
This morning she came to lay down next to me while I was sleeping in. While I pretended to still be asleep she started up her own little conversation. With her feet. Before I knew it her two little feet had done something to annoy her and she started to chide them. "No, no, no you don't" she wags her finger, point to the offending foot, "you're on time out!" "Oh no," replies the foot. "Yes! You go on time out! I said, NO!" Then turning to the other foot she continues, "You too! No, no, no! You are in time out!" The first foot turns to the second and says, "She said 'no' to me." The second foot bristles it's toes and replies, "Yes, she said 'no' to me too!"
At this point, Alaina is disrupted by my laughter. Sadly the little story ends with Alaina giggling as she runs out the door. Those are the stolen moments you wish you could record and stow away forever. They just never happen with you have a camera pointed their way.

Lora, Mark and I took the kids to The History of Charlotte's Museum on Friday. They had an exhibit there displaying over-sized renditions of toys from the 1800's. It was like the first arcade ever built...before video games and electricity, of course. The kids ran from station to station, stopping only long enough to figure each toy out before they moved on to the next one. It was loud and crazy but we all had a lot of fun. Thank goodness we were the only ones there.






There was this really cool bell at the museum. It dates back to when the first few houses were built in Charlotte.

Lora and Mark have come to visit. Yeah! We've quickly acclimated them to chaos and early mornings. The kids have loved every second of it, insisting on having them sit next to them during every meal and having them hold their hands everywhere they walk. Ethan has been in heaven having Mark sit next to him in the back of the van every time we go somewhere. And for an extra-fun time, Ethan has made up stories about Mark during every ride. Mark is being a good sport, now...but he has a couple more weeks to go.

We visited the Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden today and were very lucky to experience the warmest temperature for today's date...ever. It was 79 degrees with a light, fall-like breeze. Gorgeous.




The kids really loved running through this tunnel of water. They were absolutely soaked but it was warm enough to dry them up pretty quickly.

Happy Birthday Rob!

Robert turned 32 today. The kids all made him different presents. Alaina made him his crown, Ethan made him a card and Austin made him a tie. I have a feeling that they had a lot more fun making the gifts than Robert did wearing them. I made Rob a cake with fondant this year. It was my first attempt. I made the fondant out of marshmallows and powdered sugar, so it tasted better than the store-bought kind. I was being a little too optimistic when I first made the cake and I put a 33 on the cake instead of a 32. I forgot that Robert is such a young pup. I fixed the error before he blew out his candles, so no real harm done. Whew.

The kids have been showing off lately...and I thought it would be a pity for them to show off just to me. So, enjoy.

Alaina is concentrating as hard as it looks like she is. So serious, that girl!


Austin was rocking out like this until he discovered spinning.


Ethan was trying to get his groove on, but Alaina wasn't interested.

Today Robert cut my heart out with a razor. Believe me, we all knew that something had to happen. I mean...look at this kid. He was in desperate need of a trim. The only way to even comb this bush was to soak it down completely. But...I was hesitant. Robert promised it would just be cut back a little. Nothing drastic. Just a clean up. The curls would definitely stay. I took a deep breath and let them at it.
About 5 minutes later I got a desperate call from the bathroom. Robert's expensive razor, apparently, was a pile of trash. IT (not Rob, of course) was butchering our boy's hair. IT was just moving hair around and randomly chopping chunks short while leaving others intact. The only way to fix it was to cut it all off...all the way.

I sat there and watched, mortified. There was no way of stopping the razor. Off went my baby boy's beautiful curls. And now look what I have...A grown up looking toddler. Handsome? Yes. But where is my sweet baby?

It wasn't even possible to tease out a quarter of a curl...and that was with product. So sad!

"Oh Daddy! Say it isn't so!"