They say that survival of the human population relies heavily on the tricks of the mind. Your memory, they claim, mercifully makes you forget just how hard is is to care for an infant, thus insuring that you are willing to do it again. And it is true. You forget just how hard it is to run on such little sleep. You forget the stress of taking care of the most primal needs of a baby...feeding (Breast-feeding woes, anyone? And seriously, how hard can it be to get a 6 pound child to burp, anyway?), dealing with sneaky sickness that suddenly lurks behind every corner and lingers on every person's fingertips. And, of course, the ever elusive sleep schedule. Yes. You do tend to forget these things.

However, I am rather shocked at the other things I managed to forget about. The things I swore I never could forget. Like the smell of a baby's neck. Their corn-on-the-cob, frenetic kisses when they are hungry or their silky, feather-soft skin that makes you hold your cheek next to theirs until they squirm away. I know I must have studied Ethan with the same intensity that I stare at Jason, but the memories are vague. I'm not too sure how much time I studied the twins, between the haze of suddenly caring for three babies instead of one, but I know that even then, I took the time to be amazed. They were, after all, what I believed to be my last babies.

When I look down at Jason I'm a little taken back at his frailty. How will this wiggling, jerky, bald-headed creature with spindly legs and spastic head bobs ever survive our crazy world? His helplessness simultaneously scares me to death and fascinates me. It seems that every movement is triumphant and conversation worthy. I stop whoever is lucky enough to be passing by with cheerful commands. "Look at him open his eyes! Check out those worry lines! Feel how strong his grip is!" A chance half-smile or a grimace becomes the topic of discussion in the room.

And when I find myself alone, in the middle of the night, I still can't help myself from talking out loud. In a hushed whisper, I gush out praises and rhetorical questions. "Are you going to look up at your mama?." "What a good boy, eating so well!" "Oh, are you going to smile for me?" I am amazed, even sleep deprived as I am, how entranced I become when he raises his eyebrows and puckers his lips into a silent 'o.' I can't help but laugh every time he looks at me from the corner of his eye, in a rather suspicious gaze, as if he is questioning what type of mischief I am planning for the day.

He still makes that sweet, little lamb 'baa-aa-aa' noise instead of the belting cry that I know he'll replace it with, soon enough. But the absolute best thing he does is his full body stretch. He reaches his arms as high as they will go, balling his little fists and with his whole body twisting, he pulls his legs high up to his belly and scrunches his face up together until his entire head turns red. Besides realizing out of proportion that little body is (really, arms that only reach to the top of his head?) I am constantly remind how good a full body stretch feels. Ah. I want to do one right now just thinking about it.

I am determined, this time, to thwart human nature and remember every detail, from the weight of my 5 1/2 pound baby as he conforms his body to mine, to the kiss of his soft breath blowing against my neck as he sleeps. Even as I write this, I'm afraid he is magically changing from new-born to infant with the flutter of an eyelash. The tiniest moments, it seems, are more behind me than I care to admit. In fact, I can't fight the urgency I suddenly feel to sign off this post and catch as many of them as I can. I'm off to go and hold my sweet baby!

For the rest of the holidays, we divided our time between staring at the baby, playing games and eating good food.

Here is Jason sitting in my bread basket getting weighed. The scale that Rob bought for the pinewood derby is finally getting some good use. (Rob just weighed him again a few minutes ago - and a week later- and Jason is already one pound heavier. I love good little eaters!)


Movie time.

Naomi loved hanging out with Bella. She would stand at the window every time Bella was outside and when she was in hallway, we couldn't keep Naomi away from her. Bella returned the attention with sloppy kisses all over her face. Yuck.


Here, at two weeks old, Jason decided that he would turn over from his tummy to his back. He is really good at holding up his head and throwing himself back at unexpected times. Although he is a wiggler, he is a very peaceful little baby. I keep waiting for him to find his voice. He'll give a good cry out when he is hungry or being changed, but it only lasts a few seconds and then he waits patiently for some attention. I'm sure he'll grow out of it soon enough...but I'll take it as long as we can get it.

Alaina with the guys.

Looks like he got Daddy's worry lines on his forehead.


G-ma got everything together so that the kids could all put together some gingerbread houses. They were so excited to do it and I was so happy that she had the energy to join them. (I sat and watched.) Despite having some crazy frosting that refused to stick at first, they were able to pull together some good lookin' houses. (At first there was a lot of disappointment trying to get it to work. Robert had gone out to the store for a few minutes and all we heard from Alaina the entire time he was gone was "I wish Daddy was here. He can fix ANYTHING. He is so GREAT at doing gingerbread houses. etc. etc. etc." After a while the constant praise was starting to make me and Grandma feel like chopped liver. What made it even more annoying was that as soon as Daddy came home, he WAS able to fix all the gingerbread issues. Go figure.






I did a gingerbread sign. Pretty impressive...I know.


Time for a Jason break. Awww.


Dad and Naomi. Naomi is such a happy little girl. I don't think I've ever seen a child so willing to just sit there on your lap for so long.




Ethan is a great big cousin to have. Just ask Naomi.




Rob took the kids outside and set off some fireworks to celebrate the New Year. They all look a little worried in this picture, I think. Both Ethan and Alaina were extra concerned about Porter.

After introducing Jason to his quilt, I just might have to reconsider the size. It might just be possible that I went a tad bit on the large side. (This looks like a 'where's waldo' picture.)

Ahh. That's better. I just hope he doesn't get nightmares from his stuffed dragon.

Before we knew it, vacation time was over, Grandma and Grandpa had flown back to Utah. Lora and her two made it safely back to L.A. and the kids were back in school. Robert has stayed home this last week to help me get back into some kind of routine while we've been working on getting Jason healthy again (he caught a nasty little cold that has made sleeping a bit of a challenge.) He'll head back to work next week and I will have to figure out just how to do it all again. Let's see...if I just stay up a couple more hours after Jason's 2-5 p.m. awake time I should be able to get the kids up and ready for school before I drop dead from exhaustion at 9. It's possible. :)

Christmas 2011

Christmas morning was so beautiful this year. The pink sky was a perfect way to start the day.


I had gotten home from the hospital Christmas Eve and I was still quite out of it by the time we heard the kids stampeding down the stairs. It was hard to drag myself out of bed but the kids were so excited that their enthusiasm rubbed off on me. I just sat on the couch and enjoyed the show.







The hat gang. :)

Naomi and Porter had grins from ear to ear the entire morning.




Before we knew it, Jason and I were covered with wrapping paper and all of the kids gifts. It was like we were part of the furniture.



I was so glad that Mom & Dad and Lora and the kids were here with us for Christmas. They brought the Christmas spirit in with them. I think I may have just slept the day away if we didn't have them here to keep us busy with Christmas activities. Jason coming home in time for the celebration was icing on the cake. Thank you all for a wonderful Christmas!

The kids are at school and Jason is momentarily sleeping, and so I decided that, instead of cleaning the dirty kitchen or folding my growing mound of laundry, I would try and catch up on my blog. However, knowing that this moment is fleeting, I will mostly be posting pictures instead of writing a deeply moving and descriptive blog entry. (collective *sigh* of relief from audience...)

Since I jumped ahead of myself and posted pictures of Jason before I got to the pictures of Mom and Lora's visit, I'll have to go back in time just a little. This post will be titled "BBJ." Before baby Jason.

See what a comedic queen I become, while running on zero sleep?

Okay. Mom and Lora came the week before we were scheduled to go in for my c-section. We spent most of our time just hanging out and finishing our last minute details for Christmas (present wrapping, cooking, taking loads of pictures just for kicks...) Here they are, our Christmas elves. Naomi, Lora & Mom.

And here are the kids, finally on vacation and patiently waiting for Jason and Christmas to come. (Not necessary in that order.)

Ethan reading.

Austin challenging Mom to a heated game of chess.
Rob playing with his camera to make the moment look even more intense. Da Dum!!!! (just like watching Bobby Fischer.)

Here is Naomi just being cute.

Robert managed to keep all the kids entertained with a rousing game of monopoly on his iPad. Despite the fact that Monopoly is my absolute, all-time, least favorite game to play...we do own several, real versions of the board game. So, tell me. Just what is the fascination of playing it on a computer? I might not get it, but I did like the hour of peace and quiet.


Mom thought that we needed a major photo shoot the day before Jason arrived. I admit, my last night of being pregnant was something to celebrate. So, here we are, for the last time, just the five of us.

And me and my three little kiddies.
Here are my sweet twinnies. I still call them my babies, even though I guess they are just a few years away from standing eye to eye with me. (Not fair...I'm too short!)


Mom with the girls.




And with the boys...

And finally...here we are again. Enter sweet baby Jason.