Bad things happen when you have unsupervised present opening. I was making Christmas dinner when I heard Austin in the background. "Uh. Do you know where any scissors are?" I politely ignored the child. A few seconds later, a slightly more agitated Austin says, "Do you know where the scissors are!" Without looking up I reply, "No. No scissors." Finally the hint of panic and higher pitched response made me look up. "I NEED some scissors!" Yup. This is what I saw.
It seems he wanted to cut himself out. He really was this sad when I took his picture. I'm thinking it was the ears that caused the real problem.

Seriously, that child. I had to take the picture before I saved him. Remember when Rags had the cone head thing on? It kind of reminded me of that.

More Christmas highlights to come...

Christmas Caroling, Jones Style

Since we can't be at your door-step with cookies and orange rolls in hand, we decided to at least get the caroling done on the blog. (I know...the sweets are the only thing that made enduring the singing worth it.) Seriously. I think that kids stay on one or two notes for each song. But what they lack in musicality, they make up for with volume!

So here they are: the Von-Jones Singers. Enjoy.

We wish you a Merry Christmas



Rudolph the red-nose reindeer



Jingle Bells


Austin is a little crazy about Phineas & Ferb.

And here is the original, in case you just had to know what he was trying to sing. (the kids sing this one none stop. Everyday. I'm losing my mind.)



And the boys were crazy about all of the JibJab emails that Mom was sending out of all the grand-kids. So, they decided to make their own. You have to imagine the music in the background.

Abby!

Tammy let me watch little Abby one day and she became my personal photo-shoot model. That girl is seriously the cutest, sweetest little thing I've ever seen. I want her. Tammy refuses to be a good sport about it and insists on taking her back at the end of the day. So I guess I'll have to be happy with these cute pics.


I think she actually might be made out of sugar. Abby Jones. It totally works. ;)

I know. This is the millionth post I've done in the last week or two. Surprisingly, I'm still a bit behind. I just realized that I never posted Robert's birthday. Oy vey! What an important post to put up. Although it's true that no matter how many birthdays Robert has (as he likes to remind me) I'll always be MUCH older than him. So here is my brand-new 34 year old hubby. And three ska-petti (spaghetti) faced monsters.And this year, shame upon shame, I didn't make the cake. Instead, I broke down and bought it from Sam's Club. Not even Costco! We were really slumming it this year. And, sad to say, we loved every minute of it. YUM! Who can beat chocolate, chocolate-fudge cake?

Here is the b-day song for Daddy. I know...it isn't the full Scribner birthday song. Or even a part of it. We still need to work on that one around here. (Notice the disappearing Ethan in the song? What a little wiggle worm he is.)

Happy Birthday, Bobby!

Last week, while Robert was on one of his many trips, I decided to get festive around here. We were debating whether or not to put up a Christmas tree this year because the fake one we put up every year is huge. We decided that it took up a little too much of our living room and since we want people to buy our house we didn't want to make any room look smaller than it is. But the kiddies were starting to worry that Santa wouldn't know where to put the presents, so on a spur of the moment, I threw the kids into the car and bought us a $15 fake tree. It looked pretty sad sitting in the corner of the play room and I didn't want to dig through all of our Christmas tree stuff so I decided we needed to make our own Christmas balls this year. And so we did.

It was a sticky, gluey mess and the kids loved it.

Glitter was everywhere. I'm still sweeping it up.

Ethan suggested we take a timed photo...so here it is. We were drying the balls on my phone charger wire. That's right...using my noggin.



See, now doesn't that make our little tree look cheery?



And here they are on Sunday. They clean up nice. :)

The day after Thanksgiving we got to attend our very first oyster roast given by Aaron and Sara. Now, these things are a big deal. Aaron built a special table just for the event. Bushels of oysters were bought. Aaron's brother, Brent, came in and brought a huge 55 gallon metal drum to use for a fire so we could stay nice and toasty while waiting for the oysters to cook. I'm telling you, it is a big deal. And never, under any circumstance, make the mistake of calling it a 'clam bake' because you may get cut out of the will. Fortunately, I wasn't in the will when I said it. Ooops.

Sara and Aaron had invited about 20 friends and family for the event. (I'm pretty sure we fall under both groups. :) The night was freezing but clear and as the oysters cooked we found ourselves moving in small circles as we heated the front of our bodies while our backs froze and then we'd flip to thaw out our backs. Sara had a huge spread of food to occupy us in between shucking oysters. Aaron and his brother promised us at least a mild taste of redneck-ness by setting up two out-houses.

One for the boys.

And one for the girls.
Now...obviously, the girls bathroom was never used. But I did hear that the boy's one was used a couple of times. Thankfully, I never had to witness it.

And now to business. Shucking oysters.


Brent would steam them and then dump them on the table. Then you put on a glove, take the piping hot oyster and knife and slice open the oyster shell. After that all you had to do was cut out the oyster with the knife and eat if off the blade.
After you ate the oyster you just toss the shell in the hole in the table and start again. I think there were about 6 bushels of oysters all together and I can't even begin to remember how many I personally ate. I did decide that there were two types of oysters. The chewy well-cooked kind and the slurpy wet kind. I'm only a fan of the chewy kind. And although I had plenty of great experience shucking oysters at the Pearl Factory (hee hee) I found that shucking oysters that weren't soaked in alcohol for weeks at a time are quite a bit tougher to pry open. Don't worry, though, I'm a quick learner. Not much comes between me and food.

Here are the Weltz brother in charge of the mêlé. After most of the oysters were consumed the men went on to play a Finnish game called Mölkky which was really fun. Little wood stumps were number 1 through 12 and you'd throw a separate small log at the numbered ones. If you hit more that one stump at a time then each stump is worth one point. If you only hit one stump down then you get the number on the stump for your points. After your turn each log is set up again in the place it was hit to. I know you wanted all of these details. Don't pretend like you got bored in my extra long description of the game. I know you loved it.
Every few minutes they'd have to come back and warm up. While we were waiting by the fire, Brent & Sara told us all sorts of scary ghost stories. By the end of the night nobody wanted to go home. I can't wait for the next clam bake....oh, I mean, oyster roast.

I'm sick. Goopy. Foggy. I have about three blogs I need to put up but I can't seem to concentrate long enough to do it. However, yesterday all three kids did/said something so funny that I need to write them down before I forget. Reader beware: 1 story is bathroom humor, 1 is snot humor and the last is pure silliness. It started, as it so often does, with Alaina.

When Alaina got off the bus she had a sad, funny little story to tell me. She has had a stuffy nose this week and has had many giant sneezes that have produced a surprisingly huge amount of snot. Especially if you consider the tiny, itsy nose that she has on her face. So off the bus she comes and in all seriousness she put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Mama, I have to tell you som'thin. When I was on the bus I had a really big bless you (sneeze) and so much snot went all over." Austin, "It was so much all on her face." Alaina, "Yeah. It was stringy and hangy on my face. And there were kids laughing at me." Me, "Well they were probably just surprised to see that. I'm sure it just seemed silly and they were laughing at that." Alaina, "No. They were laughing at me, so I just went like this." (Dramatic pause with her lips pursed together and eyes wide looking out to the side for a few long seconds.) She continued, "And then when the bus stopped I walked up to the bus driver and said, 'Uh. Excuse me.' and she said, (alaina now uses a falsetto with her best southern drawl.) "Oh my goodness. Bay-beee! What happened to you!' And I told her I bless you'ed and she gave me a napkin." End of story. A minute later she was telling me she won table points at school. Such a silly girl.

After we got home I started getting everyone ready for gymnastics. I was running up and down the hallway trying to grab gym clothes, get snacks ready, take out homework and pack up the kids. As I was heading towards the boy's room I heard Ethan from the bathroom shout, and I mean SHOUT, "That was SO AWESOME!!!!" As I skid around the corner I see Ethan sitting on the pot and when he looks at me he says, "I had a huge poo and I tried to push it out and I couldn't. So I pushed REALLY hard and it came out. Boff. Like that. It was so AWESOME!" When they say that it doesn't take much to make a kid happy...they mean it.

Once I got the twins ready, said hello to Rob who had just walked in the door from his third trip this month, kissed Ethan goodbye, I ran the twins into the car. About 2 minutes in to the drive Austin found Ethan's bike helmet. 1 minute after that he had it buckled on tight. About 2 minutes after that he decided to take it off. 1 minute after that he realized he couldn't get it off. 10 seconds after that he was in a full blown panic attack, pulling and tearing at the helmet to take it off. I wasn't able to pull over but I was able to distract him enough to keep him calm until we reached the gymnasium. Because we were late and there weren't any parking spaces left, I stopped by the front door and told the kiddies to jump out. Laina was out like a flash and I turned around and was ready to un-click Austin's helmet when I saw the most particular sight. Austin's legs were walking towards me like normal but his head seemed to be stuck in the back seat. It took a second for me to look past the squirming and twisting arms and legs to figure out that Austin had clipped the helmet to his seat belt when he clipped it onto his head. I quickly parked and rescued the boy. Austin shook his head back and forth and said, "I really don't like that helmet." *sigh*

They might not be the brightest bulbs in the pack but at least they can rely on their looks. And now I'm off to knock myself out with a NyQuil or two. As it is, I don't think I could concentrate long enough to proof-read any of this, so forgive the mistakes....

Thanksgiving Day.

Betcha already thought you got the ol' Thanksgiving post. Well, ya didn't. We had our very first non-traditional Thanksgiving. We originally had many family/baking/turkey oriented plans for the big day but found ourselves stressing over making our life fit those plans. And when I say 'we,' naturally I mean, 'me!' Since we never actually know when someone may come and look at our home for a showing, I couldn't bring myself to start the baking. What if I had to leave in right when the orange rolls were to come out? And there is the whole cleaning aspect of a showing with three kids home from school.

So, Thanksgiving here at home was out! We couldn't have gone up to see Nathan and Lindi for the holiday which would have rocked (have you seen her blog? Did you see all the awesome food she made?) but Ethan had a tonsillectomy two days before. Poor sweet guy. He's still having a really hard time of it today, so I'm glad we didn't try to travel.

So, Thanksgiving with family was also out. As usual, it was Sara who came up with the answer to my dilemma. Thanksgiving at the Ballantyne hotel. Oh yeah, baby. Talk about a buffet to remember! Sara's family was all travelling down for the holiday along with some friends and so she reserved us all seats for the big day. We took up a good section of the dining hall. The food was fabulous and there were plenty of very soft things for Ethan to nibble at. Mashed potatoes, creme brûlée, banana flambé on ice-cream. Yum. And the best part was that there were no dishes to clean up.

And here is the fantastic bread spread.


And one buffet table. They also had a table where they cut turkey, ham or roast beef in front of you as you passed.

And here we are in our Sunday best. I really should stop letting Ethan do his own hair for big events but I'm a sucker for his 'please' look. Curse that child's good looks! :)

And the three monsters. Ethan's giving a weird, 'come hither' look. Maybe it has to do with the bucket load of drugs he's currently on?
And the life of the party...(dramatic pause)...Aaron & Sara! Whahoo! The kids are there too, you just have to look real hard to see them.

Lastly, something that may never be capture on film again. Three very, very obedient children. Look how politely they walked down the hall (when they knew the camera was on them.) Although, I must admit, they were really good kiddies all day.

Happy Thanksgiving from the Jones Family!

This is a Saturday morning self portrait of the gang. Who needs make-up or hair brushes when you have smiles like this?

And as our gift to you, here are three Thanksgiving tips you'll be amazed you've lived this long without.

How to make a Thanksgiving Turkey

Ethan

Get some turkey from the store. Bring it home. Put on pineapple, sugar, salt and pepper and cook it up in the oven for 10 minutes. Then eat it up. That's the goodest part. Don't eat the bones. You put them on your plate.

Austin

Go to the farm and get a dead turkey. Take the feathers off with your hands and skin off with scissors. Take it home and put it in a pan with apples and some yummy stuff like cheese. Put it in the oven with a glove so you don't burn your hands. Cook it for 10 minutes.

Alaina

Get a turkey at the store where it is already cooked. I would put it in the oven because I like it a little bit hotter. I would put butter, a little bit of lemonade spice and some more spices on it. Then I would eat it with my whole family.

Sadly, it is Alaina's cooking tip that reflects my cooking the most. But not this year. This year we aren't going to the store at all. Instead, we are going to a hotel buffet. That's right. I know ya'll are totally jealous. Deal with it. I think I'm going to have about 10 helpings of creme brulee. Before dinner.

And here are two of my monsters refining the art of the waltz. As Jimmy kindly critiqued, it isn't actually a waltz number playing in the background. Apparently it was a 3/4 beat instead of a 4/4 beat. But the kids didn't seem to care. It is a longish one so after a few seconds feel free to fast forward to the final bows.



One more Saturday family shot. We got a little more of Austin's head and a little less of Ethan's.

And to end on, here is Austin's movie-star smile. He has informed me that he is much too talented to be a TV star. No. He WILL be a movie-star. He already has the attitude down. As long as he buys his mama a new house on a beach...I guess it really doesn't matter what he does.

My Arizona trip was SO much fun. Robert was absolutely amazing with taking on the role of single working dad for the week. He also got to be on-call in case anyone called to see the house. (no one called...so sad.)

I first met up with Noelle at the Montelucia Spa where her awesome Mom (who works there) got us this amazing suite for the day. The room opened up to the terrace next to the pool and had a wonderful view of the mountains. During the day we got treated to a manicure and fancy lunch (Also a treat from Noelle's Mom.) and hung out in the sauna, hot tub, steam room and this scary shower-like torture device that dropped freezing water on your head. I never had the guts to try it but I enjoyed watching Noelle and her friend Tara get drenched.

After the spa we went to Noelle & Kyle's home for a very tasty BBQ put on by Kyle's Mom & Grandma. That next morning we got our hair done, went over to beautiful Anthem golf resort and got pictures done. The wedding took place right at sunset. Noelle was gorgeous and the whole ceremony was perfect. But I think my favorite part was when Kyle and Noelle did the Tango for their first dance. It was very fancy and they performed it beautifully.

Here is the woman of the hour. Such a knock-out.
The cake.


The back of the dress.
Congratulations Noelle & Kyle! Thank you so much for letting me be a part of such a wonderful moment in your lives.

After the wedding I was able to spend a few days with Steph & Jim. It was so much fun being able to spend some time with the kiddies.


Bath time.


Steph and Yve.
Pretty girl!
The stare-down.


At the park.


Jim was able to come home right after work each day so that we were able to spend some good time together. The last night we were there I think we kept him up a little too long. Here he is assuming the position. (Rob's favorite place to sleep)
The last day I was there Lori drove down from Eager and met us at the park. She was able to bring her three youngest with her...yeah for me! Here is Oliver with Addison. She's got about six months on him but he's got a couple of inches over her.

Lori with sweet Andi.
Lori with Addison.
It's been about 4 years since we've seen each other. That's way too long.

And here I am with Charlie, Addison and Andi. I could just keep these three little ones. (I asked but Lori didn't let me.)

I guess after 5 days it was time to come back to reality. I should take a trip like that more often, though. I hope that we can come through Arizona again if we end up driving to Portland. That way the kids can get in on some of the fun as well.