Mom - Emmett. I love you and you're so cool.
Emmett - I love you and...Daddy's so cool!
Mom - What about me?
Emmett - Nope.
Mom - I'm cool.
Emmett - You are not cool.
Mom - I can be cool.
Emmett - No. You are not.
Mom - Why not?
Emmett - Because
This is the point that any smart person would take their losses and quit the conversation. Not me, man. I'm a glutton for punishment.
Mom - Why??
Emmett - You just are not. You're hair is not cool. Your body is not cool. You feet are not cool. Your body is not cool. You're hair..."
Mom - OK. I get it, kid.
Emmett - ....is not cool.
Emmett, while playing with a toy horse said, "Come, my glorious horsey." And later when he saw me pick up a candlestick, he said, "This candlestick looks familiar." I know he turned 4...but he is always using words I don't expect him to use.
Jason and Emmett were playing around the house, chasing each other. They love to compete...always. When I finally tuned into their conversation, I heard them arguing. Jason was saying, "Now, I'm Jesus." Emmett responded, "Now I"M Jesus!" Jason starts to scrunch his face in the way he does when Emmett starts to tease him. "NO! I"M JESUS!" I'm about to stop the argument when Emmett smugly looks over to his brother and smiles. "Fine. Them I'm Heavenly Father." Boom. Drop the mic.
One day Jason came home with this very awesome family portrait. He was must excited to tell Emmett about it. As soon as he laid it out, he very excitedly started to explain, "Emmett! Do you see how fat I made you?" Emmett was ecstatic, "Yes! I do!" Jason continued, "I knew you would want to be soooo fat and so I made you that way." I think Emmett was actually giddy as he clapped and said, "I did! I did want to be sooo fat! Thank you, brother!" It was awesome. (also, as a side note...check out Rob's hair. That is pretty awesome too.)
Emmett - "My ankle and my leg hurt...for real life!"
Emmett - Holding his red gummy bear in front of his face, he asks, "Is this every color but red?"
Emmett came into my room one night while Rob was traveling. He said, "Mom! I woke up to tell you something. Daddy comes home in 1 day!"
Since Robert was traveling so much, the little boys kept insisting that Robert have sleepovers with them when he was home. Robert was a very good sport and had several sleepovers, even when his back hurt from traveling. The boys were in heaven.
At Emmett's Joy school, the kids were playing around in the living room. At one point, Emmett lifted up his shirt, showing off his impressively little, white chest with his blue veins showing . One of the kids pointed to his veins and asked, "What are those cracks?" I said, "That's where Emmett's blood is. That is called a vein." The kid asked, "That's his blood? Emmett corrected him, "That's my platelets." We've got to stop readying the body book.
Jason went to a birthday party held at one of those trampoline/jump places. All of the kids were in the dodgeball room when we got there and so he walked on in. 30 seconds later he scurried out. He looked at me and announced, "I don't want any balls thrown at me AND I don't want to throw any balls at anyone either!" Then, off he went to go jump by himself, where he didn't have to worry about being hurt or hurting someone else. He's such a tender heart, my sweet Jason.
Jason was all dressed up for 'Old People Day.' I can't remember what they really called it...but that is exactly how he was dressed.
In the car Jason was talking about what they were learning at school. He was talking about "honest Abe' and how 'honest Abe' was such a great guy because he made 'brown people and gold people' treated the same. Then he said, "I wish I was Honest Abe but I'm not named Abe and I'm not honest but I am very sweet.' While I disagreed that he was in fact, an honest boy, we both agreed that he was, indeed, very sweet.
We decided to have leftover chili one night. We didn't have a lot of it, so I made rice to go with it. After everyone got their chili, Robert started dishing out the rice, saying, "Here, if you want to stretch out your chili, you can mix it with the rice." Emmett put his hand out and said, "No. I don't want stretchy chilies!"
Jason was telling the twins about a show he had watched the night before. He said, "We watched the whole show, but it didn't have any paint yet." He meant that it was black and white.
I was trying to get the boys ready to leave, so I got out both of their shoes. I was about to put on Jason's shoes when Emmett says, "If you don't put on my shoes first, I won't let you go to my birthday party! I won't let you get out the door, even if you say abracadabra! I won't let you do anything!" Since I don't negotiate with terrorist, Jason still got his shoes on first, but I was impressed and a little worried about our future.
Here are my two little boys, walking into church.
During dinner, Emmett kept getting up from the far end of the table, walking over to me to give me hugs, before walking all the way back to his seat. After about 5 of these impromptu hugs, he asked, "You know why I keep coming over to give you hugs?" I didn't. He walked back into his seat and reached out his arms towards me. "Because my arms are too little!" He meant that he couldn't hug me from his seat. I guess the hug, themselves, were a bit self-explanatory.
I had just gotten out of the shower and taken Emmett out as well. He was sitting in his towel quite comfortably and so I decided to take a moment and try on some of my swimsuits to see which ones worked with my new and improved boobs and my new and not so improved belly. I came out of the closet with my first suit on to take a look and Emmett shouts, "Wow! That is SO beautiful! I love that!" Well. Okay. Not the usual response I get when I put on my swimsuit. I told my little fan-child that I was trying on a bunch of swimsuits and asked him if he wanted to help me pick one. He jumped up, eyes wide and shouted, "Yes! Let's do it!" Alright. With a little spring in my step I went and changed. When I came back out Emmett said, "That is beautiful. But...I think the first one is more beautiful." What? A real opinion? Cool. I head back in and Emmett tries to come back with me, saying "What will we do next?" and I shoo him back to his towel. When he sits down he says, "Surprise me!" I am feeling pretty good about myself now. With the help of my very enthusiastic personal shopper I managed to pack my bag and I have to say, I had the very best swimsuit modeling I think I've ever had in my life. I'm ready for Puerto Rico! (I'll just believe that everyone else will see me through the same lens as my adoring 4 year old.)
At least 5 times every day Emmett asks me how many days are left until he can play the Wii. Ever since I decreed that Sat. was the ONLY day it could be played, it has been his constant obbession. So has my death. These two things aren't connected, I hope, but they are both mentioned at about the same frequency. Emmett will say things like, "When you die, I will cry." or "When you die I will be sooooo sad!" He also peppers these comments with "I love you so much! I will never, ever stop loving you." and "I love you super-doper much!" So, I'm not worried I'm raising a mass-murderer. Tonight, though, the child really outdid himself. After I put the boys to bed they compete on who can express more love for mama than the other. The say anything to top out what ever the other one says, "I love you!" "I love you SO much" "I love you super-doper much!" "I love you one hundred ten sisteen thousand!" You get the picture. So, when I'm closing the door Emmett comes out with his "When you die I will cry!" Jason basically repeated the same thing and then I heard Emmett call out, "When you die, I will cry tears of sorrow!" What? Tears of sorrow? Where does this kid get his stuff?
Now. To finish off this massive post, I need to let you know that Robert traveled and will travel over 60% from this last Christmas until about the middle of summer. He decided that he wasn't going to cut his 'travel beard' until his big 6 week travel between Jan. & Feb. was finished. I hate that beard but I guess it didn't matter too much since he'd be gone so much. So finally when he got back, he went from this:
to this:
During the same time period we finally convinced Ethan to cut his hair. He went from this atrocity:
To this handsome guy.
And then he got glasses, which really made him pretty.
And with that last transformation, I'll sign off. Massive post finished.
