Ethan turned 6!!! I can't believe it. Ethan is such a wonderful, enthusiastic child. He loves to make the twinnies laugh and can often smother them with his loves and kisses. He is a protective older brother and is quick to make sure everyone has their fair share of everything. He is a hard worker and is as coordinated as he is energetic. But the best thing about Ethan is his pure, sweet heart. He is passionate and loyal. When he lays down to go to sleep he has me lay next to him to sing and say goodnight. It is the only time of the day when he can be perfectly calm. He hooks his arm around me and holds my face next to his and tells me he never wants me to leave. Then his body relaxes as he closes his eyes. It only takes him about 5 minutes to fall asleep. And watching him I think he is the most beautiful child I've ever seen.
It makes me think of the very first time I saw him. He was bundled up with his fine strawberry blond hair fuzzy on his head. His blond eyebrows blended into his fair, new born, wrinkly skin. His face looked perfect then, too. And at that moment I knew he was mine. He had my heart completely wrapped into his. When I held him I knew he was where he belonged; I was where I belonged.
The next hour was full of anxiety as we waited for Ethan's birth mother to sign papers and place him into my arms again. The second time I held Ethan, he was legally mine. That first night I put his little body right next to me and spent the hours staring at him. Memorizing him. After so many years of trying to build our family, I couldn't believe that Ethan was here. Even when exhaustion took over, I kept my hand on his chest where his light breathing was physical proof that I wasn't dreaming.
Every night since then I still find myself sneaking into my little ones' rooms where I put my hand on their now-not-so-little chests and watch them breath. Sleeping children bring joy to every mother, I'm sure. But for me, it's the moment where dreams come true. My three little dreams.

And no matter how hard the day had been, when I am laying next to a sleeping Ethan, I can't help but thinking that I never want to leave either.

Happy Birthday, sweet Ethan-boy.