Today I was a glutton for punishment, and it hit me like a tidal wave.

I already knew, the night before, that it was going to be a bear.  It order to put it off as long as I possibly could, I managed to stay up past midnight.  Stupid.  It involved taking all the boys all the way across Vegas, to the North side (just before you leave the city of sin for the barren desert).  That little drive takes at the minimum, 35 min.  Without traffic.  Ethan happens to be in a camp there this week.

So we trudged off to the North, dropped him off and headed back home again.  My day consisted of then taking Emmett to an orthopedic doctor to check out his pigeon toes.  (They made us wait over 1 hour and 15 minutes before we saw the doctor...I could have screamed!)  The doctor brilliantly remarked, "Yes.  They are definitely turned in.  You could switch the shoes around to help them bend back."  That little tidbit of info was given to me by one of my Moms about 1 year ago.  Why don't I listen?

After a short 45 minutes at home we headed up for Jason's appointment at the eye doctor.  Better news there.  No glasses needed.  Yet.

After another short break we all headed back into the car to pick up Ethan.

And that is when I did it.  I could have just called it a day and headed home.  I should have.  It just felt lame to not even let the kids do one fun thing on a summer day.  So I detoured to the library.  It wasn't much of a thing, but I thought it might be nice.  I even stopped at the library cafe (yes, they have one.) and bought a few muffins.  That is how generous I was feeling.

As soon as we walked in, I smelled trouble.  Or, to be more precise, I smelled Emmett.  I put Ethan in charge of the boys and walked back outside to get my diaper bag.  That's not too bad, I thought.  Just a little pooper.  When I walked back in I was accosted by a few disapproving mother stares while one lady let me know that she had saved my son from sudden death.  I didn't get the whole story, but it involved Jason busting through the doors by himself operating a daring escape plan.  Ethan came running behind him saying, "Oh.  There he is!  I just noticed he was gone!"  More disapproving stares.  Yes.  I left my babies supervised by a scrawny redheaded child.  Sue me.

So, away we went back into the children's section.  Jason refused to go back to the play area and frankly the big boys refused to watch them anyway.  So, I took both the little boys into the bathroom for a quick change.  As soon as I laid Emmett down on his precarious little perch and got his messy diaper open, Jason announced that he had to go pee.  Well, go ahead, I told him.  So he did go ahead.  He pulled down his pants and his pull up (since I didn't trust him with undies on the drive) but instead of pee, he had a bum full of poo.  Gross.

With one hand on the baby, I tried to calmly talk Jason down from doing, well, just about anything.  Don't move.  Don't breathe.  Don't walk.  Don't wipe.  He didn't listen.  He marched over to the toilet paper and started smearing himself with poopy paper.

Emmett started squirming and trying to grab his own handful of crud.  I rushed back and forth trying to clean them both up without Emmett taking a spill off his ledge.  It wasn't pretty, but I was able to triage the situation.  So.  With Jason mostly wiped up and going commando under his shorts, I refocused on Emmett.  While cleaning him up, I ordered Jason to wash his hands.  He can be so obedient.  A few seconds later he realized he couldn't figure out how to turn on the water.  To be fair, the boy tried.   He also came to me with his hands dripping with soap saying,"I'm all sticky!"  "Just wash it off!" I said.  Nope.  I kinda yelled.  Well, in between a yell and a very insistent voice.  Okay.  I definitely snapped.

Jason obeyed.  The child turned around and plunged both hands deep into the toilet bowl water and scrubbed vigorously.  What can you do at that point?  Cry?  Laugh?  Have an emotional breakdown in the library bathroom?

I chose to focus on breathing.  In, 2,3, out, 2, 3.  Repeat.  These boys are cute.  They are sweet.  They are gross and completely unsanitary.  But they always clean up well.  I'll keep them.  Today.