After Dad died, we had to quarantine at Mom's house for two weeks before we could have the funeral.   Some of the Utah family went home to quarantine in their own homes, so we had a pretty full house a lot of the time.  Alaina, the boys and I stayed on with mom for awhile after the funeral as well, and so there are a few of those pictures mixed in here. 

Before the funeral, a good friend of my parents came to the door to express his condolences.  Instead of saying anything, he performed a Maori Haka.  It was one of the most touching things I've ever seen.  He was so emotional,  and my Mom was nearly in tears.  I know my Dad would have loved it.  

 

After Dad passed, we had to all stay at Mom's house in a quarantine for two weeks. During that time we shared stories, visited and helped Mom plan a funeral.

Here is the facebook post I wrote to tell my friends about Dad's death:

Friday morning, my dad passed away. My mom and all of my siblings were able to spend his last night here on this earth, by his side. My dad was many things to many people. For me, he was a deep well of calm waters. He could temper my fears, boost my confidence, ease my worries and make me feel loved, all with a few words and a warm embrace. No matter how old I have grown, I always have felt a child to his careful, wise words and his steady faith. I will miss him...always.

I was also tasked, along with Jimmy and Spence, with writing Dad's Obituary.  It was a difficult thing to do.  There was a lot of information, but after a few hours trying find a unifying theme for his obituary, I was starting to feel frustrated.  The three of us just started talking about Dad and some fun memories, and from that, things started to take form.  This is the final Obituary that we came up with:

In Loving Memory

Obituary for Douglas MacKenzie Scribner

Douglas MacKenzie Scribner was born on February 9th, 1938 and died January 8th, 2021. He is survived by his wife Cecile, his brother Steve and Steve’s wife Mary, his eight children and their spouses, whom he loved like his own children. He is also survived by thirty-five grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. Doug lived a life of service and found deep fulfillment and true friendships wherever he went. Doug held many positions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He went on his first mission to Australia from 1960-1962. While in Santa Rosa he was called as a Bishop (1974-1979) and Stake President (1993-2002). While living in Scotland he served in the Stake Presidency and Mission Presidency (1984-1987). Doug and Cecile were the Temple Visitors’ Center Directors in New Zealand from 2004 to 2006. Throughout his life, Doug served the church in so many different ways, from working with scouts to his last position in church: teaching activities to the young boys. For him, helping one child was as important as speaking to hundreds .

Life Sketch

Dad was never one to boast about his successes. He didn’t want a lot of recognition or accolades, which meant that he never talked too much about his job. We knew that he loved working at Hewlett Packard and that he admired his mentors there. He would, however, share his excitement about work by praising his co-worker’s contributions while keeping his own role out of the limelight.

There was, however, a smartly matted photo that he hung in his office for as long as we can remember. It was a photo of Dad, in the prime of his life, looking off into the horizon from the stern of a boat. The photo was a gift from his co-workers and it was simply titled, “The Pathfinder.” This was a simple acknowledgement from his peers of the work he did in expanding the engineering divisions in Scotland and Santa Rosa, but to us, it held a more poignant meaning.

In truth, the title “Pathfinder” encapsulates the best qualities of our Dad. He never looked at disappointments, setback, or loss with the mindset of failure. No, that was never his style. Instead, he faced them all with the strength of someone who knew that great things were possible, especially with the help of his Heavenly Father. Leaning on

his unswerving faith, he would pull himself up by his boot straps, and get to work. When he lacked skill or knowledge, he was eager to reach out to others, excited to lean on their experience and advice. In all aspects of his life, he was a Pathfinder.

Dad has always had a brilliant mind. His love for learning led him to Stanford, where he earned a degree in Electrical Engineering. It was this same thirst for knowledge that led him to first investigate the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. After seriously studying the precepts of the church and pondering and praying about its message, he believed it to be true. Within a month of graduating from Stanford, he was baptized, and a year and a half later he was on a plane to Australia, excited to serve a two year church mission.

After returning from his mission, Dad went on to earn an advanced engineering degree from Brigham Young University, where he became reacquainted with a fellow missionary, Cecile James. That is when Dad, a handball-playing, body-surfing, Californian college-boy, became engaged to a small-town Provo girl, born and raised in a family of horse-riding, mountain-lovin’ hunters.

It was a perfect match. Dad and Mom sealed their marriage in the Manti Temple on June 2nd, 1964. It was a wonderful marriage full of hardships and success, joy and heartaches, fantastic adventures and, after eight children, many, many diaper changes, one of the few technical skills he had little interest in learning more about. Silliness aside, Dad whole-heartedly supported Mom in every big idea or creative vision that came to her. As introspective and deliberate as he was, not only did Dad encourage Mom’s dreams, he joyfully immersed himself in any way that she could use him. He acted, he sang, he danced the haka in full Maori regalia. He was never the star, but always her champion. Simply said, he believed in her.

During Dad’s final hours, each sibling took the time to reflect on his legacy. We would love to share some of those thoughts with you:

• ●  Jim - Dad was never judgmental. He approached each person and situation with eyes clear of bias and a heart full of love.

• ●  Russ - Dad was always fully engaged with those around him. He was more concerned with their needs than his own.

• ●  Gina - Dad only saw the good in us. He had a gift for making every person he ever talked to feel special, important and loved.

• ●  Craig - Dad had a zest for learning. That love of knowledge ranged from lofty intellectual discussions to teaching a hot-headed teenage kid how to convert fractions to decimals.

• ●  Christy - Dad was the master listener, convincing you that all your thoughts were not only interesting but held real value.

• ●  Spencer - Dad was a true role model. He was a great father, a devoted husband and genuinely cared about all those in his personal and professional life.

• ●  Lora - Dad was a true optimist. He only saw the best possible version of everyone he met. This allowed all of us the ability to see ourselves as he saw us and to easily see what we could become.

• ●  Scott - Dad passed on his unwavering conviction of faith. He found joy and hope in the scriptures and peace through prayer. He led with a soft voice and a firm belief in God that resonated with all of his children.

Dad loved his work, he loved his family, and he cherished his friendships.  Even more, Dad loved his Heavenly Father.  He spent countless, happy hours working in the temple.  He delighted in the scriptures.  His large print scriptures are well worn and marked, and he was regularly seen in his office pouring over them.  He was fascinated with church history and the histories of all religions.  He fervently scoured the internet to research genealogy and strove to share the stories of our ancestors with all of his family.  In true engineer fashion, dad provided precise, hand-drawn graphs and charts of our family tree, including lovingly obtained photos of relatives and their homesteads.  Dad ardently researched and studied the Gospel with his mind, but shared his faith with his heart and his soul.  

We will be slightly adrift without our steady ‘Pathfinder.’ Thankfully he has left enough for us to find our way and one day, God willing, we will join him.

And he talked of Christ, he rejoiced in Christ, he preached of Christ, and he prophesied of Christ...that his children might know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.

2 Nephi 25:26

The funeral for Douglas MacKenzie Scribner will be held on Tuesday the 19th at 11:00 a.m. Due to Covid-19, it will be attended by immediate family only. However, Walker Funeral Home will be posting a YouTube live stream video. All are welcome to join us. The link to the memorial service will be posted on Sunday night on the Walker Funeral Home website (https://walkermemorials.com/ ) at the end of his obituary.

Over Christmas my mom got Covid.  It was a terrible flu with constant chills, fevers, soreness and loss of taste which led to loss of appetite.  Even though it hit her hard, it never really made her oxygen level drop, which we were all thankful for.  Just as she was starting to feel a little better, Dad got sick.  Unlike mom, he didn't seem to get many of the symptoms that mom had gotten.  Instead, he just became extremely fatigued and didn't have any will to get up and move around.  Mom made him do it anyway, which later, when I talked to Ron, seemed to be one of the best things she could have done.    

Mom was watching his oxygen levels faithfully, and in the beginning it seemed like he was going to be alright.  Still, I was starting to plan to drive up to Utah with the kids to help both of them.  I could have flown, but I was homeschooling the little boys and Alaina, and I didn't know how long I would want to be there for.   I drove to the store and purchased a cartload of snacks and easy meals and went back home to pack them up.  I wasn't sure when I'd leave, exactly, but I wanted to be ready to.

Dad's oxygen levels started dropping and Mom ended up taking him into the emergency.  Dad was really reluctant to go but he eventually was convinced.  At first it was very positive news that we got.  They had to give Dad oxygen but just a low level.  While he was there, my brothers called him on FaceTime and sang him a song.  The nurse said that his oxygen levels all shot up during that song.  The doctor said that he was doing really well and that he would be going home the next day.

I called him on the phone, and he was frustrated because he didn't have his hearing aids.  So, unfortunately, the conversation was really one sided.  He knew it was me, and he told me that he loved me and that he knew that I loved him.  He also said that he didn't think he was going to make it through Covid.  I told him I didn't want him to go, and he told me it wasn't my choice.  It was a goodbye call, and I knew in my heart it would really be the last time I'd get to really talk to him.  When he hung up, I went down to Robert and cried.  The next morning, I had threw the little boys and Alaina in the car and we were driving to Utah.  

Alaina has her permit and she was able to help me drive here and there, but she's still pretty new, and so I did most of the driving.  We only stopped for gas, and that first night I drove until about 4 o'clock.  Unable to continue, we stopped into a hotel for a few hours and by 7 we were back on the road.  I had brought enough food and drinks that the only other stops we made were for gas.  

Half way through the first day of our drive we were told that Dad was sent home with some oxygen and that he was going to be fine.  I was hopeful that my panic was an over-reaction, although I was still anxious to get there.  That night Dad didn't do well at all, and by the next afternoon, he was back in the hospital.  This time, it was for hospice.  

By the time I got that call, we were still six hours away.  Spencer jumped into the car and started driving from San Diego.  Gina had just arrived by plane.  Lora was on FaceTime because she was unable return from China.  I felt desperate to get there, and dismayed that even though we had tried our best, we might not make in there in time to say goodby.

Somehow Dad held on.  Alaina and I drove straight to the hospital and when I got there, Josh drove the kids up to the house.  I sat by Dad for a few minutes, and he was able to give me a small smile.  When Mom told him that I drove there, he said, "Oh, so far!"  I was able to tell him that I loved him, and he was taken off the oxygen. 

We don't know how we were all let into that small room with Dad.  I think part of it was that we all came at different times, and the nurses may have thought we were there for different people.  But once I joined my brothers and sister in the room, they said we couldn't leave the room or we wouldn't be let back in.  We weren't even to go to the bathroom.  The did have a small toilet in the room (no curtain or divider, just a toilet, and they said we weren't allowed to use that either.  (A few of my family broke that rule, but as rules go, it was a pretty dumb one.)  We sang song after song, and eventually, when it was clear that none of us were going to leave, they started bringing us a few extra chairs.  There still weren't enough for everyone...it was a very small room.  But we made do.  

Dad held on, and after midnight, Spencer arrived and was able to see him and say goodbye.  After that, we just waited and talked.  Some of us slept here and there.  Because it was daytime for Lora, she started reading poetry, which we all listen to.  She must have done it for hours.  Lora was on the phone for over 16 hours, and it felt like she was there with us the whole time.  When one phone ran out of batteries, we would call with another one.  I'm sure that my Dad was happy to pass on from this life surrounded by Mom and all of his children.  

Early the next morning, he took his last breath.  Suddenly, we knew he was gone from us.  It was strange having such an urgent determination from all of us to remain in that small room, but a few minutes after his last breath, it was easy to walk out.  We just knew that he wasn't there anymore.

I will always feel blessed to have been able to make it to Utah and go into that hospital room to say goodbye to my sweet Father.  I know that so many people weren't allowed to do this during Covid and it hurts my heart to thing of what they missed.  It was a touch, a smile and a goodbye.  

Here are some of the pictures from that time.