Conversation stopper – by exuberant randomness

Ethan & Alaina finished their 5-minute time-out for jumping on mama’s bed, so I sat in front of them to discuss why jumping on mama’s bed is such a heinous crime. “You know kiddies, Daddy goes to work everyday. He goes and earns money. We buy nice things with the money…like our beds. If you break the beds, we have to have more money, so daddy has to work even more. We don’t want to have Daddy go to MORE work do we?”

You can see Ethan’s face light up as he has his eureka moment - "Ahhh," I think, "I’ve gotten through to him."

Thoughtfully, Ethan says, “Oh…daddy has to work for more money? Oh, that’s right. He buys more Fish? What? Daddy is going to buy more fish?! Oh that’s right…Daddy’s going to buy a BIG fish!

Mama stammers out, “uh….what?


Conversation stopper – by excessive affection

During dinnertime last night, the boy was exasperating. He was slowly chewing down one tiny bite of food at a time. (guess he caught on to the fact he was going to bed the second he was finished.) But, I managed to spit out an empty threat regardless of what he knew, “Eat Austin! Eat your food or you are going to bed…”

That was as far as I got. By the second “eat” Austin was already leaning towards me with that close-mouth, sweet, dimpled smile. By the time I had reached the word “bed” he had both arms tight around my neck and was giving me soft, understanding pats on the back. As soon as he knew I wasn’t going to pursue my initial line of discussion, he leaned back…gave me one more smile and continued to take miniscule bites of his dinner.

The hug hypnosis technique only lasted a few minutes and as soon as I came back to my senses, I started up again, “Austin, so help me, if you don’t…”

Again the smile and hug routine was pulled on me. I can’t help myself…it works every time. And that sly guy knows it. Over and over I was hushed up, until Robert saved me back picking him up and whisking him off to bed before the same dark magic could be pulled on him.


The handkerchief drop

Laina was busy on my lap getting her nails clipped. Austin was reading a book next to us. Laina looked at Austin and with a smug look on her face, she dropped her book on the ground, “Austin…you get my book?” she innocently asks. Austin, always happy to help a damsel in distress, grabs the book and puts it in her lap. As soon as he is settled back with his book Alaina drops her book on the floor again…”Austin, you get my book?” I quickly reach for the book myself to save Austin the effort and I hand it over to our resident princess. She promptly shoves it back on the floor with disgust and says, “no…not mama. Austin get it.” Oooooh, are we in trouble!


Santa mistake

Ethan was not doing well. He had been having a very naughty morning and was polishing it off with refusing to take his nap. Infuriated I told him that if he didn’t shape up I was going to call Santa and tell him not to bother coming to our house for Christmas (we are having a bit of a belated Christmas here on the east coast. Rob’s parents are coming to visit in a couple of days, so we moved Christmas back a week.) Ethan was unfazed until I dial a number and proceed to chat with Santa. (I really am a grinch)

Oh yeah…that did it. The poor guy was frantic. Of course, instead of having a nice calming effect, Ethan lost it. He refused to be comforted unless I called Santa back and let him tell Santa that he was going to be a good boy. After a quick call to Dad, “Santa” not only calmed Ethan down, but instructed him to go to bed without any more fuss.
A very subdued Ethan hung up the phone and crawled right into bed without one complaint. I should really have Santa call more often. :)

At 9 in the morning I found myself changing Austin's diaper while Ethan busied himself by playing daddy. He was merrily tucking Alaina into his bed with the whole night-time ritual...reading her a story, singing a song and then with a sweet goodnight kiss he leapt out the door. Life was moving along at an easy, regular pace. Seconds after Ethan left he burst back in the room to start the whole process over again. This is game that could go on for awhile. Ethan puts Lainy back down and tucks her in again. After he gives her another good-night kiss he jumps up for the door...but this time it's different. The door doesn't open. It only takes us a moment to realize that Ethan had lock us in. All of us. Frantically I search for the screwdriver that Robert usually keeps above the door for just such an emergency as ours. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
All eyes move towards the windows. I unlock our windows and after a lot of grunting and kiddie-friendly cussing, (dag-nab-it you crummy thing!) the window slowly works its way up. Another 10 minutes is spent figuring out that two buttons need to be pressed down to allow the window to pull open like an oven door before the screen can come out. Then, with the stealth of a mountain lion, I jump out the window onto the wet grass (in my bare feet, even) and make a mad dash for the front door. It's locked. We have a total of 5 doors that could lead us inside (ridiculous, I know) and I find each one of them securely locked. We were all locked into Ethan's room and locked out of the house.
Looking at my safe home I realize that the only way in is through Ethan's door, and the only way we would get through that door was to go to my neighbors for a screwdriver. I was really hoping to introduce my family to the neighbors looking all done-up with my sharply dressed husband and three perfectly groomed kids, holding a plate of Christmas cookies. Standing in my PJ's in my bare-feet was not part of my pretty picture. Taking a deep breath and a big helping of humble pie, I sprint for our nearest neighbor. No one answers. I go to the next door. Again, no one answers. By the third door the embarrassment of the situation starts to wear off. I look at my self, this crazy haired, no make-up, half-dressed stranger running around my new neighborhood. As I hit two more neighbors without any luck, I start to laugh at the hilarity of it all. There I am grinning like a maniac and in the background you can hear my three kids screaming their heads off as they hang halfway out the window. Now why do you think no one was answering the door? A little frightened, maybe? Finally, at the 7th house I get a response. A nice man opens up the door and after I stammer out, "hi, yeah...super embarrassed about this, but...please help?" I'm actually really happy it was a man at the door because, (and despite my predisposition to do so, I"m not exaggerating) within 30 seconds he had a tool box in front of me. (Where does he keep it? Displayed on the mantel?) And 10 seconds after that I was trotting back to my window with the right tool.
After getting through the window and saving little Austin who had become trapped between oven-door window and his bed (I love that huge bum of his...but it does get him into some awkward situations) I freed my little family from what could have been the longest day of our lives. And within two minutes I was back at our new favorite neighbor's house, Oh-bee-jus (the phonetic spelling of his name...don't ask me the proper way to spell it,) and after a few high fives from the diaper clad children that followed me, we were on our way back into our humdrum little life in our new house. Welcome to the Neighborhood!
I thought ya'll would share a Merry Christmas Chuckle at yet another strange, but sadly, not the strangest, experience in my little life.

Have a very Merry Christmas!

Here are Rudolph's helpers:

Here it is...our new paint job, all finished. It wasn't quite the renovation that Noelle has been going through with her kitchen, but it sure was nice to say goodbye to some of that orange.

Here is our kitchen before:



And After:



Here is the living room before:


And After:


Here is the side of the living room before:



And after:


Now as soon as we get the curtains up (dark brown, something or other) and our couches, we'll be able to sit down and relax. Oh, and after we unpack. :)